...to my dreams that is.
The following are two separate dreams I had last night:
1) I was an old college professor walking down the halls of my building dragging 10-foot-long pieces of salami and asking my colleagues, "Would you like to insure a $600 slice of pizza?" The first few said no so I kept going, very determined to make a point (I can't even begin to explain the point I was making).
I asked a lady at the front desk (who looked very much like the red-head in The Office who slept with a guy for discounts on office supplies and gift cards to Outback), "Would you like to insure a $600 slice of pizza?". She asked why so I told her, "Well, with the way things are going with the Soviets, I feel like I'm steeling." She said she'd insure one so I took her money, wrote her name on one of the pieces of salami an picked up another to replace it.
2) Christina Aguilera stopped me on the road and told me I had been chosen to receive the Hispanic Woman of the Year award. I told her I wasn't Hispanic and she said, "Oh that's okay, sometimes the winners aren't." She took me to a room where I was going to be interviewed for the magazine article and I saw Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Angelina Jolie already sitting down. We joined them and they asked me questions.
A little after I left I realized I'd lost my purse. I went to the gymnasium to find Angelina because she was the last person to see it and I found her, Brad and their 6 kids sitting there watching my graduation. Brad said, "Can I help you?" I said, "I've just lost my purse and I thought your wife could help me." He said, "She just had to step out but I think you'll find it if you ask Amanda Carrillo." (Amanda, I don't know what that means.)
I asked her and went down to the library and found it. I went back to the gym to thank Brad and he said, "no problem" and kissed me 6 times quickly on the lips. (WOW) Angelina saw him do it and gave me the look of "I really wish he'd stop kissing other girls".
After I told Brandt my dreams he said, "Do you take drugs before you go to sleep?"