Monday, December 15, 2008

Not Sure How To Feel

Today I learned that my 19-year-old brother James joined the army. He enlisted for 2 years in infantry. I know it's what he's interested in and not just because it had the biggest sign-on bonus and also not because he just didn't know what to do with his life but I'm not sure how to feel about it.

I guess I'm now "one of those families". One of those families who has someone in the military. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just going to change my life. I'm always going to be worried about him. I'm always going to wonder if he's okay or even alive. I know that's extreme but it's going to get that extreme eventually.

He's serving our country. I could never do it and I'd never want Brandt to do it... for selfish and scardy-cat reasons but people have to do it and he's going to. This entire post probably doesn't make sense mainly because I just don't know how to feel. Do I feel happy? Do I feel patriotic? Do I feel like I have a noble brother? I really don't. I think today I feel sad and odd. This will go away in time but I feel like I've already lost him. I'm proud of him for doing what he wants to do and don't want to take that away from him (or freak him out) but how is a sister supposed to react to something that's heroic and dangerous?

I guess this is what I should be saying... Today my brother James joined many others who will be risking their lives to save so many. He'll learn a lot and is doing something he wants to do. I'll pray for him every day that he'll have strength and guidance. I know he'll do a good job and be a good example to many people.


Kool Kunz Klan said...
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Cheryl said...

Good for James. The Army is a good thing, trust me I know it's scary but in the end it will all be ok. Some people are just cut out for the military and some are not.