Thursday, January 07, 2010

Human eating lizard experiment gone wrong

I could have an entire blog solely for writing up my out of this world, insanely ridiculous, and bizarre dreams I have every night.

I used to pray every night before I fell asleep that I would have good dreams. It seemed to work when I was a little girl with my Dad kneeling beside me but as a grown up I feel it isn't helping because maybe it's not a priority among continuing to have an income, keeping Jane healthy, etc. So, I've been having wickedly outlandish dreams for the past, I don't know, 4 years?

If you're interested in the title of this post, read on. If not, have a good day.

Night before last:
I apparently signed up to be part of this experiment because I was really smart and could benefit my peers in this project where we would live underground without the rest of the world knowing. We would work on stuff and would live out the rest of our lives underground.

It was all fun and games until I found something I apparently wasn't supposed to. I tried to hide it but they kept coming after it. Then, all of a sudden, the lizards, all of the lizards started growing. They started growing and becoming strange looking and started attacking people for no reason. People just tried to ignore it but I knew there was something up.

One day when I was hitching a ride somewhere in "Underground Myrtle Beach" I heard some people were going to a movie "upstairs". I didn't go because I was too scared to pass through the valley of strangely erotic and snappy lizards. While everyone was gone they started attacking the humans who stayed. I fought and fought to save myself and others. It was difficult but we managed to keep them at bay while their numbers grew.

Everyone else came back to the underground world and a few of them lost their lives while passing through the now overgrown valley of lizards. I wanted to leave but I didn't want to be the only one who would give up. Then, one of the guys I knew decided he had had enough as well. I asked him if I could come with him and he said, "Are you ready to leave now?" I said, "I just have to go get my bag and then I will be ready." He acted like he didn't even want to wait for that so I hurried to my room to get my bag. Then I realized I had to pack my toiletries. Then I had to pack a drawer I had missed. Then I had to find my shoes. I finally finished after what seemed like 20 minutes. I caught up with him and he was a little frustrated I took so long. He turned and started walking in the direction of the valley. Right then I remembered... MY BABY!

I have a baby! I have to go get her. I asked him to wait but he said no. He said if I caught up with him I could finished the trek with him but that he had to leave. I was angry but had to go get Jane. I ran to her. I couldn't believe I had forgotten her through all of this. There she was on my parents old water bed. Her stuff was everywhere. I had to pack it. I thought, "But wait, that's going to be at least 5 bags and I don't have luggage. I'll use trash bags. But wait, Delta charges $20 a bag! Ugh! What am I going to do!?!" I decided to pack up as much as I could in one bag and I started running with bags and baby in tow.

As soon as I got outside I noticed the next and final uprising of human eating lizards had begun. I was too late. I started running. They ran after me. They ran after everyone. People were being eaten alive. I had to get out of here and protect Jane. One of them jumped on us and I killed it before it could hurt us. I was bitten on the leg by another. I killed that one. I had no idea what would happen to someone if they were bitten because no one survived an attack. I didn't care, we had to keep going.

I saw the guy I was going to leave with far away in the distance. He was opening the hatch. He had made it. "If only I had left with him... I couldn't have left my baby!", I thought. What was I going to do?
A van pulled up. It was Hurley from Lost. We jumped inside. There were 3 other people. They were dressed like Amish people and were eating licorice. We sped off. So many people were dying. So many lizards.

We kept driving.

It had gotten dark but we felt safe.

Then I woke up.

Yikes. I like waking up. I don't like dreaming. If I go gray it's going to be because of the stressful dreams I have.


Liz said...

you are crazy. After Carter was born I did have a lot of dreams when i would suddenly remember that i had him and that he need me to survive.

Celia said...

oh goodness. perhaps you could sneak another request in your nightly prayers. these dreams are scary! :/